So You Think Your A Tough Guy Huh?
”As most us know the ‘toughguy’ competition Has just ended, it is renowned for being one of the toughest assault courses in the world, among other things you get to run through bails of hay that are on fire, crawl through barbed wire, wade through chest deep muddy water whilst being shot at, and smoke grenades going off around you, so it goes without saying you have to be pretty tough to get through it, out of the 6,000 average entrants a third of them never even finish, so do you think you could hack it? think you have the balls of a mammoth and could destroy everyone in your path to victory? well we’ll see about that, because I have devised some manly tasks for you to test out your toughness, give them a go and tell us how you got on!
The Fridge Lift
If your a pikey or live in a pikey area you shouldn’t have any problems finding an old fridge knocking about, if not then just use yours, don’t worry it wont get damaged (hopefully). The idea is simple, lift the fridge by yourself, either empty or full of food it’s up to you, then hold the fridge off the ground for 30 seconds, after which you must place the fridge on your dining room table, if you don’t have one then place it on a kitchen worktop instead. Be mindful of your back though, because if you put it out and end up in hospital, you will look a twat explaining how it happened. DIFFICULTY: HARD.
The Crab Grab
So you lifted a fridge did you? proud of yourself yeah? feeling pretty fucking smug are we? OK well try this out for size. Get down to your local fishmongers or market, get hold of a live brown crab, they are really easy to get hold of, and if your a fisherman then you can even catch your own. Now you need to place said crab down your trousers and nest it right next to your cock. The real test is that you have to go to your nearest supermarket and do a full basket of shopping without letting on what you have down your pants, you only complete the test when you have fully paid for the shopping, successfully received the change and said ‘cheers love’ to the checkout girl. (WARNING! blokebuddy is not liable if the crab bites your cock off!) DIFFICULTY: IMMENSLEY HARD .
The Ultimate Push Up
This push up not like any you have done before and probably one you won’t want to try again. You will need:
- A small child of about 5 stone in weight, preferably a boy with a known temper
- 1 bowl of dog food (wet not dry)
- A wife or girlfriend
- A feather duster
- A Wooden Spoon
First you need to get into the press up position, but instead of the normal shoulder apart width, close the gap so each thumb and forefinger are touching each other, your palms flat on the floor, your hands should form a triangle shape. Next you need to get your wife to place the child on your back with the wooden spoon in his hand, his role is every time you rise from a push up he whacks you as hard as he can on the back of your head with the spoon. Make sure the bowl of dog food is under your face, and every time you go down into a push up you must take a mouth full of dog food and swallow it. And to top it off your wife has a feather duster and is tickling your armpits as all this is happening. To pass this test you only need to do 20 push ups. DIFFICULTY: MED-HARD.
Taking A Punch
Have you taken a punch before? I’m sure most of us have dished out and received a fair few in our lifetime, this one however has a twist. You need to invite your mate round for a few beers and a game of FIFA on the xbox, just like any normal night in, you need to inform him that his role is to punch you full on in the face with as much force as he desires at some point in the evening at a time of his own choosing, ideally it will happen when you least expect it. The only way you can pass this test is when the punch happens you don’t react, you simply pretend nothing has happened and carry on with what you were doing, I did this with my mate a few years ago and I couldn’t do it, it hurt so fucking much, probably because he lifts weight and I eat cake. DIFFICULTY: EXTREME.
Help A Granny Cross The Road…..Tough Guy Style
We have all helped an old dear cross the road before, and they really appreciate it, so why not go one step further with it. Find a nice old dear and ask if she wants some help with her shopping. Pick her up and rest her against your hip like you would carrying a child, then carry her shopping in the other hand, now cross the road and place them safely down at the other side. To pass this test you must cross the road without huffing, puffing and sweating, you must smile and whistle a random tune of your choice. DIFFICULTY: VERY HARD.
Well I hope you like giving my tests a go, if you manage to do any of these send in some photo’s of your efforts to blokebuddy@googlemail.com and I will put them up on the site, Alternatively If you think you have done something else that you think is tougher, send in a photo of that too!
Fancy yourself as a bit of tough nut do ya? you can enter the next toughguy contest here …..if you think you can hack it!
Hope you enjoyed the post. Leave a comment.”
hahaha that made me laugh alot!!